I am a young but mature, full bodied Yellow Birch tree. I live in a forest in northern Minnesota. My bark is pale as moonlight, smooth and unblemished, and I have a full canopy of beautiful Golden Orange leaves. I’m 30 ft tall with a thicc and sexy trunk 26 inches in diameter. Perfect for lumber. Also I’m a virgin.
“Goodness. I sure hope a big, burly, hairy lumberjack decked out in plaid and denim doesn’t come along and chop me down with his thick throbbing axe.”
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