lady warhammer orks

eekster107:

kaijuslayer:

Some of the stuff @neshtasplace wrote about her orruks got me thinkin’. 

Orks are, to a one, sexless fungus. That we call them/they call themselves ‘boyz’ is strictly arbitrary. There’s no reason any given ork wouldn’t be as likely to pick one gender as another. There’s no reason ‘Warboss Grimtoof Elfsmasher’ can’t be a perfectly orky name for a boy, or a gal, or something else even. 

If you need an excuse, though, any ork group that got its ass kicked by an army that was led by or predominantly composed of women could easily start calling themselves galz. 

They would still look like orks, as the already low humanoid dimorphism is even lower when you’re talking about people in armor. So no orks with boobs (or even ‘boobz’). Depending on the society, I could see the orks deciding that ‘galz’ have long/braided hair or some other arbitrary tertiary characteristic. So they’d start growing a bit of head hair, since orks run on magical thinking and solipsism. 

Some possibilities:

Orks who got their asses kicked by howling banshees decide:

• Galz have long, flowing, wild hair
• LOUD WUNZ RUN FASTA

Orks who got their asses kicked by sylvaneth decide:

• Galz have leaves on ‘em
• Galz wear lotsa bark for armor

Orks who got their asses kicked by wyches decide:

• Galz don’t need armor, galz need knifes
• So many knifes

Orks who got their asses kicked by sisters of battle decide:

• Galz is ded ‘ard: armor up
• Burnas!
• Faith? OH! ‘Umie solipsism, I gets it. “FOR DA GORK! (Or possibly Mork)”

Actually this reminds me of a bit I saw on Warseer back in the day:

“

Striking Scorpions are more orky than orks.

they’z green (this is propa)

they’ve got choppas that are choppier (always +1 str)
they’ve got sluggas that are shootier (better ap)

dem aspekt boyz got choppy in one hand n’ dakka in the other, but decided that wasn’t enough dakka so they put dakka on their face n’ deyz use this dakka when they gets choppy.

DA skorpion boss can take a power klaw or an ‘uge choppa (that’s choppier than what orkses got, can get more than +2 strength), or a pair of super extra choppy choppas.
and since DA scorpion boss is da boss, he’s got his dead choppy power klaw, but thought “iz gotta be shootier too”, and stuck a bit of dakka on.

and their dakka? It shoots choppy disks!
Dakka while choppy, choppy shooty dakka, comprehending this would make an ork’s mind implode. Eldar shootas don’t got range like a propa ork shoota though, so that’s an arguable deficiency compared to orks.

brutally kunnin, they’re real slippery and sneaky like
kunningly brutal, they do this all in dead ‘ard ‘eavy armor.

sneakin in ‘eavy armor. everybody else is like “we’z gotta strip down to be slippery like”. Beakies do this, umies do this, even orkses do this, but Eldar’s all like “ You’z all stupid, dats why youz monkeys. Iz putting on ‘eavier armor, iz gonna stomp through the jungle all sneaky like and chainsaw you stealthy like cuz Eldar’s da best like dat. And if youz looks at me funny, dakka comes outta my face”

and the Skorpion Big Boss travels around the galaxy lookin’ to scrap, with his extra shooty dakka face that’s twice as shooty which makes him 33% choppier, and he’s got extra ‘eavy armor but it’s extra flashy so he can run in it and be even more kunnin’ and sneaky.”