Ageing slows the greater your impact on history. Washington, Churchill, and Lincoln live well into their 200s, while figures such as Julius Caesar live for close to a thousand years. It is your 5000th birthday, and you look as young as you did on your 21st.
I walk outside and to a massive crowd cheering me on. “Happy 5000th to the creator of Meet n’ Fuck games” reads a giant banner.
a 30,000 year old minecraft youtuber hurls a javelin through your chest
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