It appears her head was colonized by Orange paper wasps.
The NFL should look to her as an example when developing new padding technology to prevent concussions.
In hot arid climates, her hair swells with stored water much like the barrel of a cactus.
It looks like she glued a handful of extra large Pillsbury Cresent rolls to her head.
I bet when a strong wind blows through her hollow curls, it sounds like a church organ playing Phantom of the Opera.
She is legally obligated to inform everyone within a 20 ft radius when she wants to turn her head.
She’s never once in her life, laid down or sat in a chair because she’s pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to get back up.
Her entire existence is one never ending balancing act. Should she tilt or lean too far in any direction, the sheer amount of disproportionate weight on her upper body would snap her spine like a kitkat.
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